Case K (grayout) wrote in seiferzell,
Case K

For 30_kisses.

Theme 13: Excessive Chain.

...and people say I should have an older girlfriend, 'n my Ma says like everyone used to say my grandpa should have an older girlfriend too, and all these people are all, go out with Quistis'n stuff! but like dude she's like NINTEEN, that's like almost TWENTY, and thats like halfway to FORTY and that's like way OLD'n stuff like DINOSAURS and she's always all serious and it's WEIRD thinkin' that someone that's gonna like grade your papers and be all Zell you use too many run-on somethings'n stuff is gonna turn around and be all Zell you use too many run-on somethings'n stuff but I'm your girlfriend and that's just WEIRD y'know, she's my friend'n all but she's like my TEACHER and TEACHERS are old and WEIRD and like they never really GET you, y'know, 'cause you're like a STUDENT and they're like a TEACHER and it's just DIFFERENT'n besides she's way too like BLAR I THINK STUFF THROUGH AND BLAR ZELL YOU DON'T YOU SHOULD GROW UP AND STUFF and that'd kinda suck to hear that from your girlfriend all day like I don't hear it enough from like everyone else all the time anyway and like if we were on a date or something and she was all OMG that was so IMMATURE like dude she wouldn't even wanna do anything FUN on a date, she'd probably just wanna like go drink COFFEE or something but I'd rather have like JOLT 'cause that stuff RULES and I had like twelve bottles of it before writing this ('cos it rules that much) and yeah.

People're also like dude there's that new girl Selphie'n hey you guys'd make a cute couple or somethin' 'cos she's always so happy'n cheerful all the time'n so am I or somethin', but that's weird too 'cos I'm like, NOT happy all the time, I mean I'm not not-happy but I'm not happy, like uhhh, you know what I mean, but anyway, like dude, I don't even like KNOW her, she only transferred here like two SECONDS ago'n stuff'n dude what if she doesn't like video games or hoverboards or fighting or just y'nknow, FUN stuff that I like to do, 'n man, I like distract MYSELF enough all the time, 'n Quistis's always yellin' at me to pay attention in class, and man if Selphie were in my class too and I were like datin' her or something, it'd be friggin' CRAZY 'cos then she'd be all pay attention to ME, and Quistis'd be all pay attention to the BOARD, 'n the video game I'm playin' in class would be all HELP ZELL EVERYONE'S DYIN' and dude I'd go CRAZY tryin' to keep up with it all 'cos I have enough trouble with just the game'n the board already 'n...

Oh, 'n people say there's some girl in the library or somethin' that like STALKS me, and I guess that's kinda uh, what's the word, like flattering or somethin', but like DUDE that's WEIRD, what if she's got like five thousand pictures of me as her computer screensaver like this kid I know does with his girlfriend or like she's got photos of me in her SOCK DRAWER or somethin' or she like KISSES 'em or somethin', I mean yeah uh it's great that you like me so much but dude I don't even KNOW you and sure I'd like talk to you'n all but like dude SOCKS, that's just WEIRD, I hope she doesn't like follow me around'n stuff, 'cos yeah, like weird, like stalker weird, like hey I don't even know what the heck your name is or even what you LOOK like or nothin' so stop taking pictures of me weird, y'know?

I guess maybe'f Squall were a girl, it'd be cool, 'cos like he's kindagirlyanyway and stuff but oh wait no that'd suck 'cos like the only time he ever talks to me is like, in the locker rooms after like, weapons training ('cos I got that class with him) 'n like every other time he's all Whatever or well actually Whatever is like all he ever says, or like maybe shut up sometimes or something, but yeah, if he were a girl I couldn't even like go into the girls' locker rooms to talk to him or nothin' and maaan, that'd be really WEIRD, he'd be all like, goth and emo'n probably like growin' his hair out really long to like hide his face so he didn't have to talk to people, and people'd be all WTF Zell why're you datin' that weird goth chick whose FACE we never SEE'n I'd be all uhhhh, I dunno, she never even talks to me, 'n yeah, that wouldn't really work. Uhhhh...

DUDE, 'f Almasy were a girl it'd be the FUNNIEST THING EVER, he'd be like crazy TALL'n he'd be all AMAZON I bet, like those crazy people in the forest (or river or somethin', I forget) that like shoot people with ARROWS'n GUNS'n stuff and are all like if you're not one of us YOU SUCK, 'n he'd be all like crazy TALL and screaming like crazy in a really high voice (like that crazy TV show with that random princess woman with the sword, or something) and beating up all the guys in Garden and it'd be the FUNNIEST THING EVER 'cos they'd be so SCARED, I swear if that ever happened it'd be the BEST THING EVER, just 'cos it'd screw up Garden so BAD, not like I want Garden to be screwed up but MAN it'd be FUNNY, dating him (uh, her?)'d be pretty weird, though, I mean I guess he (she?) wouldn't be all like shooting me with arrows or guns or stuff if he (she? friggin' hell, just Almasy) liked me back, and so I guess that'd be okay, but Almasy'd probably be all BLARRRRRRR I PWN U!!!!! 'n be all BLAR IM CRAZY 'N A BIG STRONG WOMAN or somethin' and I'd be kinda scared, 'n Squall'd probably look prettier in a dress than Almasy would'n stuff, but MAN that'd be like FUN (not that I LIKE Almasy or nothin', he's still an ASS) but it'd be so FUNNY'n people'd be like WTF and uhhhhhhhhh...

Ohshit its like 10:15 sorry i didnt have time for a conclusion uh and sorry about all the run-on whatevers Quistis it wasn't my FAULT my weapons class like was in the same slot as my english stuff'n uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah that's it

~excerpt from Zell's senior year Health essay on personal relationships
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